I clearly remember my first performance review in a global role.
I’d delivered on all my goals. Still, being new to such a complex corporate environment, I was nervous about the feedback I might receive.
My manager offered me a reassuring look, glanced at the feedback my colleagues had shared with her, and praised the quality of my work. So far, so good. But her praise was followed by a dreaded caveat that many introverted and neurodivergent people hear at some point in their careers: “You do great work, but you could be more visible.”
Ah, that dreaded but!
What I really heard was:
Objectively, you’re delivering as you should. But the way you show up in the workplace doesn’t conform to the ideal of the typical outgoing employee who engages in small talk at the water cooler and speaks confidently in meetings. And that’s an issue.
My heart sank. Because, realistically, I knew I was never going to be that kind of person. And it felt especially frustrating because my role description didn’t mention “being visible” as a performance measure. It was an implicit, hidden expectation about workplace behavior, which seemed largely irrelevant to my work as a writer.
When performance reviews feel like personality reviews
As performance review season kicks off in many organizations this January, many people will hear similar feedback. They will be judged not just by their accomplishments, but by how well they fit an unspoken ideal of visibility.
It’s like you’re getting a personality review on top of a performance review.
What this points to is an implicit value hierarchy in how we judge different ways of showing up at work. Spoken confidence in meetings and visible outgoingness get rewarded over more quiet, soft-spoken ways of contributing.
Some people express themselves more easily in writing. They need quiet time to think, and may feel more comfortable connecting with others online, where they have the space to reflect and articulate their thoughts.
Under the right conditions, these employees can be highly visible too, just in different ways. Not by being the loudest voice in the room, but through the quality and impact of their work. They may even be the quiet and steady forces in a team that hold everything together in the background.
The problem is that when only one type of personality gets rewarded, others get excluded or undervalued.
This can be especially harmful for introverted or neurodivergent employees who already struggle with self-confidence. For them, the feedback to “be more visible” can make them question themselves even more. Ironically, it can leave them feeling invisible, because they’re not being seen for who they really are.
The leader who sees visibility differently
So what’s a better, more inclusive alternative to telling someone they should be more visible?
A senior leader I spoke to last year had a perfect answer.
When she notices team members staying quiet in meetings or seeming hesitant when they speak, she doesn’t tell them to become a louder version of themselves. And she certainly doesn’t let it hurt their performance reviews.
Instead, she asks them how they feel most comfortable contributing.
If that means sharing input in writing before or after the meeting, she welcomes it just as much as spoken contributions.
If it means needing time alone in a focus booth to think things through, she gives them that space, rather than interpreting it as a sign of disengagement.
And when performance review time comes, her focus is on assessing outcomes, not on rating personality styles.
This senior leader happened to be neurodivergent herself, which had given her a deeper appreciation of how different people process information and contribute in different ways.
This kind of inclusive leadership style is not the norm in every team yet. But it’s a shining example of how we can move beyond traditional workplace perceptions of visibility.
And the most beautiful thing of all?
Everyone in her team feels seen for who they are, rather than feeling compared to someone they are not.
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