This week, I was facilitating a session on neuroinclusive leadership when one manager shared a reflection that turned into a bit of an a-ha moment for everyone in the room.
“I thought I was being considerate by always sharing a list of meeting topics with my team ahead of time,” he said (and he was).
“But now I realize I need to get even more specific about what I’m asking them to think about or prepare.”
Quite frankly, I wanted to applaud this manager right there in the room. He was already doing something many managers don’t: sharing meeting topics ahead of time. This simple habit can make a world of difference for autistic people like me, because many of us feel much more comfortable knowing what to expect.
But this manager’s reflection took things one step further:
To really help someone prepare for a meeting, sharing an agenda with topics isn’t enough. You need to be specific about what you’re asking people to do or think about.
For example, consider the difference between:
- “Let’s discuss next month’s priorities.”
- “Please list three things you think our team should focus on next month.”
The first description leaves team members guessing what you’re asking for. It’s better than not sharing anything at all, but it’s still quite vague.
The second description is much more specific. It tells people exactly what to do. Less guesswork means less anxiety. It also means people are more likely to bring better ideas to the meeting, because they’ve had more time to reflect.
This points to a broader principle of neuroinclusive leadership:
The more specific you are in your communication, the easier you’re making it for everyone to participate – often with better results.
The same principle applies not just to meetings, but also to other areas of leadership.
Let’s examine two common ones: task delegation and feedback.
Being specific when you delegate tasks
Many neurodivergent people struggle with getting started on tasks or projects. On the outside, this can come across as laziness or a lack of motivation. But on the inside, something else is happening: our brains struggle to break down big, vaguely defined tasks into concrete steps.
We want to do the thing, but we’re not sure where to start. And that can block us from doing the thing at all.
How can a manager help?
Again, by being highly specific about what they’re asking for.
Here’s how a colleague with ADHD once described it to me:
“Tell me to create three slides with our team’s achievements by 3 pm today, and I’ll do it straight away. But tell me to “complete the deck,” and I’ll still be staring at a blank slide next month.”
As a manager, this might mean you have to invest a few extra moments to specify what you’re asking for. But this small time investment pays off in spades. You’re saving the other person unnecessary anxiety. Plus, you’re much more likely to see the deck completed when you need it. Everyone benefits.
Being specific in your feedback
Feedback is another area where being specific can make the difference between leaving someone unsure what to do or helping them take a first step.
I’ll give you an example from personal experience.
Years ago in a performance review, my manager at the time encouraged me to collaborate more closely with certain colleagues, because she thought there was a lot we could learn from each other. It was well-intended feedback. And, in hindsight, she was right. I now even consider some of those colleagues friends.
There was just one problem: I walked out of that performance review with no clue what I was supposed to do differently on Tuesday morning at 9 am. My manager’s feedback was too vague for my brain to translate into action.
If, instead, she’d asked me to join a weekly meeting with those colleagues to share updates on our projects, it would have made it much easier for me to follow through. Joining a meeting is a concrete action, in ways that “collaborate more closely” is not.
Of course, someone else might have figured out on their own what my manager meant. To a non-autistic person, it might even sound obvious: just sit down for a coffee with your colleagues! But this is exactly the sort of social inference that can be challenging for an autistic person.
Now, a fair rebuttal would be: couldn’t I have asked for clarification myself? And you’d be right. I could have. It’s something I practice more consistently these days whenever expectations are unclear. I’m not suggesting the manager has to do all the work. We both have to do our part.
But the more specific you can be in your feedback, the easier you’re making it for someone to act on it – especially if they struggle to read between the lines.
Three actions you can practice tomorrow
So, to recap (and just to be specific), here’s what I invite you to do:
- Next time you host a meeting, don’t just list agenda topics – list specific questions you’d like people to think about or specific actions you’d like them to prepare.
- Next time you’re assigning a task or project, don’t just describe it in general terms – help the other person get started by suggesting one concrete action they can take the same day.
- Next time you’re sharing feedback, don’t just describe what the other person should improve – give one example of what the other person could do differently during the next team meeting.
All of these actions might involve explaining yourself more than you’re used to. That can feel awkward or laborious at first. But if my own experience is anything to go by, the extra clarity you provide might be exactly what someone on your team has been waiting for.
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